If you’ve ever stared at a blank screen and wondered what to say to a partner, you can attest that writing The Perfect Relationship at online dating message is harder than it sounds. If the messaging matches and setting dates isn’t your strong point, don’t worry. All you need is a perfect icebreaker to get started.

Having a few opening messages in your back pocket is a real bonus, especially when you know they work! So here are five proven online dating icebreakers that will help you make a great first impression.


Our guide to breaking the ice of online dating.

  1. Open with a joke

The first messages with someone new can be a bit awkward. One of the easiest online dating icebreakers is telling a joke. It’s a memorable, low-risk way to start the conversation. Not only that, studies show that fun singles are even more attractive.

The person who leads with a joke is definitely more memorable than the person who leads with “Hey, how’s it going?” Our advice? Try a few different ones until you find what you are comfortable with. See what people respond to. We’re not saying you use the same joke every time, but no one will know if you repeat it once or twice.

  1. Ask an interesting question

People are busy. Messages like “Hello” and “How are you?” they may have good intentions, but they are too generic. Instead of dancing on the subject, ask an interesting question: “Which actor would play you in the movie about your life?” “If you could be a guest on any podcast, what would it be and why?”

Asking these types of questions makes the conversation flow naturally. Asking a question that makes them think or that they can identify with is much better than making a statement. This list of nearly 100 questions is a great place to start.

  1. Play a game

Yes, the point of online dating is to meet someone and fall in love. But even though you’re on a mission, it’s important to have fun along the way. One of the easiest online dating ice breakers is to play a game, such as Two Truths and a Lie or 20 Questions.

It’s okay to keep things lighthearted, even if you’re both looking for lasting love. Try to avoid jumping to the question “What are you looking for?” and “How many children do you want to have?” speak within the first five minutes of chatting with someone new.

  1. Explain why you sent them a message.

Why did you swipe right on this person? What happened to his profile that prompted you to reach out? Which of her Romance profile pictures made you smile? People get a lot of messages, but few go straight to the point, which is what most people are looking for.

You can stand out in a crowded inbox by specifying why you’re interested in them, what caught your eye, and what they have in common. The reason they created their online dating profile was to get noticed, so hearing that you liked it will mean a lot.

  1. Make food your entree

Everybody loves food. And everyone loves to share their opinions too. It might sound like one of the weirder online dating icebreakers on this list, but trust us, it works.

Ask about their favorite food, their favorite guilty pleasure snack, or what cuisine they’d like to try. It’s one of our online dating icebreakers, because everyone has one. If the conversation goes well, you’ll have an easy transition to asking them out to dinner.

Online dating can be helpful, but it’s not always easy! It may take practice to gain confidence online, but that’s okay. It’s natural. One thing is for sure, using these 5 online dating icebreakers will help you make a good first impression and keep that conversation going.


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